Posts Tagged ‘ poetry ’
BYE-BYE TO ONE SWEET GOBBLER
Holiday turkey,
you’re such a culinary delight.
With your meat so tender,
we shall gobble you tonight.
And when our tummies are stuffed with you,
you may wind up as a tasty stew.
If by chance you turn greenish-blue,
we’ll have to trash what’s left of you.
By
— Boots LeBaron —
Click the link below and get Boots’s Black Friday Holiday Deal Starting Friday !!! And the Rest of the month !! Happy Turkey Day !!
ARE YOU SOLELY YOU, TOO?
Proudly I am solely me.
My search for understanding
is a never-ending spree.
The gift I treasure most is
the wisdom that belongs to thee.
If your thoughts are only dubious,
that’s enough to stir up
a ruckus in my tuchis.
Sure, I’m somewhat of a
gullible fool who
failed in school.
Through life, dyslexia
has been my anchor.
No way can I take reading
comprehension to the banker.
Yet I’ve always felt free
to think as I please,
soliciting knowledge from
you modern day Socrates.
Even when reliability
turns to dust, I trust.
For me, believing in the
worthiness of others is a must.
Writing essays, poetry and human
interest stories about people
such as thee, has proved
to be my fait accompli.
Despite society’s judgemental rule,
a learning disorder has always
been my inspirational tool.
It’s a stubborn confidence
I have found. At times
I’ve run it into the ground.
Listening to the rantings of others,
you might discover thoughts so profound.
Naturally, there’s no guarantee that
such philosophies will astound.
If it happened to me,
it could happen to thee!
— Boots LeBaron —
THE HUMAN RACE
THERE’S MEANING IN EVERY BRIEF LIFE
I am searching
I am lurching
I am caring
I am daring
I am hellish
I am selfish
I am hypocritical
I am satirical
I am realistic
I am spiritualistic
I am beat
I am obsolete
I am abrupt
I interrupt
I am radical
I am lackadaisical
I am long-wedded
I am embedded
I am bent
I am spent
I am adorable
I am deplorable
I am dyslexic
I am artistic
I am curseless
I am hearseless
I am heathenistic
I am egotistic
I am headstrong
I am woe-be-gone
I am ancient
I am patient
I am quick-witted
I am dip-shited
I am non-racist
I am essayist
I am happy
I am pappy
I am my children
And they are me!
— Boots LeBaron —
THE HUMAN RACE
A CHANCE MEETING WITH MY FAVORITE LEPRECHAUN
Not too long ago,
I was walking down the street minding me own business when
when I heard a rustling of leaves coming from high in a maple tree.
When I looked up, there was Francis Archibald O’Leary with
that waggish face beaming down at me.
He was trapped, clinging to a spindly branch that barely supported his portly Leprechaun frame.
“Top of the mornin’, chappy!” hecalled, tipping his topper.
Up to that point in my life,
I had been a logical kind of guy who believed that elves, mermaids, gremlins,
pixies, brownies, even gnomes were figments of our imagination. But I must admit that
I’ve known my share of Leprechaunic folk the size of Billy Barty.
So there high above me was Francis, oozing blarney winking down with
impish green eyes magnified by bifocals.
As sure as St. Patrick drove all the snakes from Ireland, I had
never met a more whimsical character than the one whose coattail was
was caught in the branches.
“Before you forsake me,” he pleaded, “would
you be up to doin’ a kind deed?”
I shot him an skeptical glance.
“Wouldn’t you agree, it’d be unmerciful
to leave a body trapped in a tree on such a fine kite-flying day?” he rattled on.
“How’d you get up there?” I asked.
“Would you believe I was tryin’ to getcloser to heaven?” he snorted.
“If I help you down, will you give me an interview?” I asked.
“Yer pullin’ me leg,” he howled.
As I began to walk away,” he hollered after me:
“Unless yer interested in talkin’ to the descendent of Ireland’s King Timothy O’Leary?
That’s me, you see!”
No sooner did I help him down that he pushed
out his double chin and tossed me a cockeyed smile.
“Timothy O’Leary was not really a King,”
he explained showing no guilt. “He was more like the
chief of a clan in County Cork. But King
Leary did exist. And his same blood
trickles through my veins and those of
my sons, Shawn, Kevin and Bryan. They
are all sturdy lads.”
“Just where on the Emerald Isle do you
hail from?”
“Sad to say, I’ve never been to
Ireland. My father, Timothy
raised nine of us on an estate in Cambridge,
Mass. where he was a groundskeeper.”
“Are you truly one of the Little People?” I asked.
“Not only am I the largest leprechaun in the world,
I’m the only one with an engineering degree; one
who works with rainbows, pots of gold, taxes,
and has an enchanting wife named Allie who teaches
college calculus. Just think of me as an overgrown
elf with supernatural powers. That’s me!”
That spiel was the beginning of a friendship
that lasted far more than a blink of an eye.
Before we parted, I asked, using tax lingo,
“Francis, would you be up to granting your
rescuer three promissory wishes?”
“Brace yourself,” he said puffing up his
chest and pouching out his belly:
“May the road rise up to meet ya. There’s
one… May the wind be always at yer back…
And here’s me favorite: May you be in heaven
ten minutes before the devil knows yer dead!”
Right there in front of me, Francis vanished
in a puff of smoke leaving the scent of
Irish Spring in his wake.
Francis Archibald O’Leary was truly a happy soul.
Right now, I’ll wager he’s at a place, far above
the maple tree, shuffling his twinkle toes,
dancing a jig. The sight of him will surely cause
old St. Peter to open wide his gates.
And, may I add, leave the many friends he
left behind with heartfelt memories.
Toodleoo, old pal.
In Irish, that means good-bye.
— Boots LeBaron —
(Frank, a physicist and former U.S. Marine,died on Valentine’s Day last year when I wrote this story.
He was born in Cambridge,Mass. in 1927)
THE WILD AND WOOLLY HUMAN RACE
DIVERSITY has many faces. They come in
different colors, creeds, genders, logic, ethnicity,
religions, prejudices, levels of narcissism and
variances of naivety. As the Academy of Motion
Picture Arts and Sciences proved with its Oscar
show on Sunday, we are an unpredictable species.
Each of us, in our own inimitable way, is a little
goofy. We tote these eccentricities wherever we go:
Showbiz, Wall Street, politics, the workplace,
into personal relationships, even sports. While
watching the Oscars and listening to comic Chris
Rock’s one-liners, the thought, loony as it may
sound, occurred to me: Why not create a dozen
golden statuettes each individually honoring white,
black, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay and
lesbian artists and technicians? Sure it’s a
logistical challenge. But the film industry has
a year to cope with it. To get them started, I
did a quick sketch of what these golden statuettes
might look like. Granted, it ain’t migraine proof.
But at least it’s a thought that might save the entire
celebrity industry from going bonkers.
— Boots LeBaron —
THE HUMAN RACE
WHO ARE WE?
Lovers can be friends.
Friends can be enemies.
Enemies can be teachers.
Teachers can be preachers.
Preachers can be hypocrites.
Hypocrites can be gigolos.
Gigolos can be heart breakers.
Heart breakers can be liars.
Liars can be users.
Users can be abusers.
Abusers can be cowards.
Cowards can be heroes.
Heroes can be brutes.
Brutes can be romanticists.
Romanticists can be manipulators.
Manipulators can be politicians.
Politicians can be swindlers.
Swindlers can be believers.
Believers can be dreamers.
Dreamers can be schemers.
Schemers can be tycoons.
Tycoons can be ignoramuses.
Ignoramuses can be patsies.
Patsies can be voters.
Voters can be celebrities.
Celebrities can be impostors.
Impostors can be charmers.
Charmers can be shysters.
Shysters can be lovers.
— Boots LeBaron —
CONTEMPLATING MORTALITY
What’s behind that final door?
Do I have the courage to open it?
Will I find a congenial St. Peter?
Or a menacing Satan ready to cuff me
and send me to the brimstone pit
without reading me the Miranda Act?
Or will there be a sorceress
with a ravishing smile sporting
a Miss Universe type sash with
OBLIVION printed across it?
I’m really not prepared
to leave this troubled World
where I’ve battled defiantly
over the past eighty-some years.
I still have unfinished symphonies
to complete before I open that portal
to Valhalla where Odin might honor
me with a glimmering diploma for
a lifetime of writing meaningful
prose and creating soulful art.
Narcissistic as it might sound,
as a writer and artist, I’m proud of
of my work. So I’m not ready to take
that final step. My favorite Woody
Allen quote just about sums up my
feelings: “I don’t want to achieve
mortality through my work. I want
to achieve it by not dying.”
When I’ve finished my memoir
and published my illustrated book
of essays and human interest stories
that took me a half century to create,
I’ll give ODIN a high-five and
welcome MISS OBLIVION with
open arms.
— Boots LeBaron —