Posts Tagged ‘ Marriage ’

THE LAUNDROMAT: A PLACE TO TWIDDLE LIFE AWAY!

THE HUMAN RACE

 NEED TO STRETCH YOUR FANTASIZING BUTTON? 

VISIT YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD LAUNDROMAT.

 

Sitting in the laundromat

watching the Speed Queen

tumble-dry your clothes

is an excruciating thing.

You could spend time gawking

at scrumptious honeys,

or occupy the boring minutes

twiddling your thumbies.

Play a game of solitaire,

if by chance you have a deck.

Waiting for clothes to dry

is one monotonous trek.

 If you’re the type of guy

who can slip into a trance,

a visit to Laundry Land might

allow your thoughts to dance.

 You could become a movie star

or perhaps a pool hall champ,

win an Oscar, be a lover,

or massage Aladdin’s lamp.

 But if you enjoy the tedious

buzz of laundromat machines,

somewhere in your ancestry

there’s mutilated genes.

 

Boots LeBaron

(Boots’ current book, “THE HUMAN RACE,” is available

on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon.  It features

light poetry, essays and human interest stories.)

LOOK TO THE STARS TO HEAL YOUR PERSONAL SOAP-OPERA

THE HUMAN RACE

ASTROLOGICAL  FORECASTS YOU WON’T FIND IN

THE journal SCIENCE OR ON TV’S BREAKING NEWS:

Aquarius:  Today you will bring tears

to the eyes of those you are close to.

Take a mint. You have halitosis.

 

Aries: To fill the emptiness in your

 life, buy or adopt a dog.  It will give

you what humans aren’t capable of:  True

love, absolute trust and a sloppy lick.

 

Pisces: As a senior citizen, beware

of a sudden change in the attitude

of your adult children. They are

turning into your parents.

 

Taurus: Tonight, your best cure for insomnia

 is to make love to your sex-deprived mate.

As the aligned planets declare:  Don’t

procrastinate, you’ll rise up to the challenge!

 

Gemini: If you’re suffering with a

four-hour Viagra erection, don’t call

your physician. Planets are affirming

that today you’re blessed with the op-

portunity to satisfy the needs of many.

 

Cancer: Especially today, don’t fall

in love with yourself. You’re not

worth it.

 

Leo: Now is the opportune time to

take credit for the marketing ideas

created by your assistant.

 

Virgo: You can’t afford to become enraged

at the man who’s having an affair with

your wife. He’s your employer!

 

Libra: For the sake of sanity, don’t ask your

 secretary to bring you coffee, lie to your

wife or take his laundry to the dry cleaners.

She knows you for what you are:

A CHAUVINISTIC HORSE’S ASS!

 

Scorpio: Warning to passionate lovers.

In the heat of the night, don’t forget to

turn off the electric blanket.

 

Sagittarius: Stay calm when you take your written

driver’s exam. If you sweat, the ink on your palms

will smear ruining your chances to pass the test.

Capricorn: Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukkah

revellers, brace for a hurricane during the holiday season!

You’re mother-in-law’s coming to town!  She was

 the out-spoken one who felt you weren’t good enough

to marry her child.  So when the doorbell chimes, be

forewarned.  It ain’t gonna be Santa.

                  — Boots LeBaron —

http://www.amazon.com/The-Human-Race-Boots-LeBaron/dp/1494218526

MEMORIES OF A WOMAN’S LIFE WELL LIVED.

THE HUMAN RACE

MARRIED 55 YEARS, GIGI’S FINALLY TURNING 39!

It seems like we met

only ten short years

ago on a blind date at

a Pan Am beach party.

When we honeymooned to

Hawaii and were offered

single beds at a fancy

hotel, I hit the roof and

got us a dream room ideal

for our sentimental journey.

More than a half

century ago I fell

asleep on the LAPD

police beat after

going without a wink

for 24 hours while

JoAnne delivered our

first son, Brandon.

When our daughter Brooke

was born, she looked

like she had gone 14

rounds with Muhammad Ali.

She blossomed into a beauty.

When Beau arrived upside

down, that was some labor

of love for JoAnne.

It’s hard to believe that

we have four grandchildren

and a great Italian

son-in-law named Rocco.

On and off for 55 years,

JoAnne and I remained

best friends. Together,

we’ve had such a good time

romancing, arguing and

performing the dance

of life. Every minute

has been scintillating.

And for JoAnne, at times,

exasperating. Lucky for me,

she has been forthright and

mentally competent. I do love her.

And now on October 18, 2014,

she’s turning 78!!!

For God’s sake, Gigi, time does fly by.

Happy Birthday Honey!

Boots

FREEDOM IS THE ELUSIVE GIFT EVERYBODY CRAVES.

THE HUMAN RACE

Freedom is ignoring the consequences,

speaking truth in the midst of bellicose critics.

 Freedom is refusing to take shit from

an abusive lover or partner.

 Freedom is choosing the best path

to take when prison gates open.

 Freedom is confessing your love

for a women who might not love you.

 Freedom is buying love when

there’s absolutely no alternative.

 Freedom is having enough cash in

your pocket to feed your family.

 Freedom is the act of conquering denial.

Freedom is coping with the pain of losing a

loved one in life’s erratic parade of fate.

Freedom is to brazenly face life’s pitfalls

despite wounds to the ego you must endure

 Freedom is ignoring negative impact

with a sense of humor.

 Freedom is that feeling of elation

after you’ve said your piece.

 Freedom is forgiving but never forgetting

the act of  a back-stabbing blabbermouth.

Freedom is returning  the wrath a

 bully with your own brand of gusto.

Freedom is a gift to cherish, yet

such a pain in the ass to maintain.

 Freedom is standing bold

against any kind of indignity.

 — Boots LeBaron —

(Boots’ book, THE HUMAN RACE, is available

on Kindle and Amazon in paperback. It consists

of human-interest stories, essays and light poetry)

Boots New Book The Human Race is available now at Amazon/Kindle! Click the link and go check it out!

Boots has just published his new book The Human Race by Boots LeBaron.  Its available now on Amazon and in the Kindle Select Library.

Boots has just published his new book The Human Race by Boots LeBaron. Its available now on Amazon and in the Kindle Select Library.

http://www.amazon.com/HUMAN-RACE-BOOTS-LEBARON-ebook/dp/B00FECDGD2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1383000404&sr=1-1

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