SUZIE THE HORNY SPINOSAURUS LOOKS AT HUMANITY.
THE HUMAN RACE
MEET SUZIE, A HORNY SPINOSAURUS FROM EGYPT
My name is Suzie. I’m bigger and more voluptuous
than a Greyhound bus. Paleontologists gave
me the name Apatosaurus aegyptiacus. I prefer
Suzie. Some 90 million years ago, during
the Cretaceous period, I hung out in the
river beds of Egypt in northern Africa.
And that’s where they dug me up in 1912.
Interested in my measurements? I’m 50-feet
long. That adds up to a statuesque 6-to-7
tons of girlishness. Scientists say that
I was the largest of predatory dinosaurs and
the only one of my kind who thrived in water.
Problem with having webbed feet is I could
never wear stilettos. My favorite tidbits
were huge fish, alligators and turtles.
You might say that among dinosaurs, I was one
primeval cutie who didn’t need eyelashes to
flutter or pouting lips to entice boys.
It was my glistening seven-inch fangs and
flirtatious glances that turned them on.
My fashion plate was my six-foot sail-
like fin that sprouted from my back.
Girls envied it. Guys adored it!
surprisingly, I don’t miss the days of my
youth when my species were struggling for
survival. It didn’t come close to what you
power-hungry, self-righteous Homo sapiens
must cope with in today’s troubled world.
Don’t take my word for it. Just read the
news or watch the talking heads on TV.
There were no mortals anywhere when this
horny Apatosaurus was on the prowl. What
does that tell you about your superiority as
Earth creatures? Evolution might be fascinating
to ponder. But it doesn’t guarantee perfection.
— Boots LeBaron —
(Boots’ book, THE HUMAN RACE, contains essays, light poetry and many human interest stories about life, faith; you name it. Buy his book on Kindle or Amazon in paperback by clicking the link below)
http://www.amazon.com/The-Human-Race-Boots-LeBaron/dp/1494218526