ATTN FUTURE BRIDES: NEVER MARRY THESE MEN!
THE HUMAN RACE
NEVER MARRY THESE MEN
Never marry a man who drives a Mercedes,
wears a Rolex and lives in a hovel.
Never marry a man whose work tools include
a blackjack, a .38 Special and a silencer.
Never marry a man who allows his nostril
hairs to grow long enough to braid.
Never marry a dude who sees Viagra’s four
hour erection warning as a manly frivolity.
Never marry a man who insists on selecting
your bridesmaids from a Victoria’s Secret catalog.
Never marry a NRA enthusiast whose
favorite sport is fortune hunting.
Never marry a man who’s obsessed
with your bank account and his profile.
Never marry a man who asks you to
strip at his bachelor party.
Never marry a man who’s an alcoholic
posing as a workaholic.
Never marry a man who proposes as
you’re pole-dancing at Bada-Bing Bada-Boom.
Never marry a man who has the names of
five ex-lovers tattooed on his buttocks.
Never marry a man who blows his nose on
your grandma’s embroidered dinner napkin.
Never marry a man who twits a close-up
of his crotch on the Internet.
Never marry a man you catch
peddling your thongs on eBay.
Never marry a man who’d rather watch
a Star Trek rerun than you in a nightie.
Never marry a man whose last wife took
him for everything but an empty jewelry box.
Never marry a man who thinks he’s
too masculine to clean the toilet bowl.
Never marry a man who sees a girl’s
night out as a shameless act of feminism.
Never marry a man who goes for a Hickey while
standing in line at the supermarket.
Never marry a bank robber unless you
can drive the getaway car.
— Boots LeBaron —
Click to buy The Human Race by Boots LeBaron avail at Amazon and Kindle.
Boots LeBaron's World 
Hi Boots
It’s Joyce Mikkelson from the Wedding on the Carousel at Old Town Mall.
I’ll be in Manhattan Beach for the next 3 weeks for my daughters wedding.
Call me at 530-521-6222
Thanks
Joyce
LikeLike