A PRE ST. PATRICK’S DAY MEETING WITH A LEPRECHAUN.
THE HUMAN RACE
TOODLEOO TO MY OLD PAL FRANK O’LEARY (1927-2015)
Not too long ago,
I was walking down the street
when I heard the
rustling of leaves
coming from high in
a maple tree.
When I looked up, there was
Francis Arichibald O’Leary with
that waggish face beaming down
at me. He was clinging to a spindly
branch that barely supported
his portly Leprechaun frame.
“Top of the mornin’, chappy!” he
called, tipping his topper.
“And the rest of the day to yerself,”
I said after a moment of hesitation.
For up to that point in my life,
I had been a reasonably logical guy
able to distinguish fantasy from reality.
At an early age, I came to believe that
elves, mermaids, gremlins, pixies,
brownies, even gnomes, were all
figments of our imagination,
conjured up to make human existence
more entertaining — dramatic.
Yet, there clung Francis with a
cluster of shamrocks sticking out of
his hatband, winking down at me
with a set of impish green eyes
magnified by bifocals.
Since I had met my share of leprechauns,
as sure as St. Patrick drove all the
snakes from Ireland, I’d never met one
who was more whimsical than Francis whose
coattail was caught in the branches.
“Before you forsake me,” he pleaded, “would
you be up to doin’ a kind deed?”
I shot him a skeptical glance.
“Wouldn’t you agree: it’d be unmerciful
to leave a body stuck up in a tree on
such a fine kite-flying day?” he asked
“How’d you get up there?” I said.
“Would you believe I was tryin’ to get
closer to heaven?” he snorted.
“If I help you down, will
you give me an interview?”
“Yer pullin’ me leg,” he howled.
“Maybe you’re right,” I said. As I began to
walk away,” he hollered at my back:
“Unless yer interested in talkin’ to the
descendent of Ireland’s King Timothy O’Leary.”
He pressed a thumb to his chest. “This is me!”
The minute I helped him down, he pushed
out his double chin and explained with a
cockeyed grin, “Timothy O’Leary was not
really a king. He was more like the
chief of a clan in County Cork. But King
Leary did exist. And his same blood
trickles through my veins and those of
my sons, Shawn, Kevin and Bryan.
They are all sturdy lads.”
“And where on the Emerald Isle do you
hail from?” I asked.
“Sad to say, I’ve never been to
Ireland. My father, Timothy raised
nine of us on an estate in Cambridge,
Mass. where he was a groundskeeper.”
“Are you truly a leprechaun?” I asked.
“Not only am I the largest leprechaun in the world,
I’m the only one with an engineering degree; one
who works with rainbows, pots of gold, taxes,
and has an adorable wife named Allie who teaches
college calculus. Think of me as an overgrown elf with
supernatural powers. That’s me!”
That spiel was the beginning of a friendship
that lasted many years.
Before we parted, I asked, using tax lingo,
“Don’t I get three promissory wishes, Francis?”
“Brace yourself,” he said taking a deep breath.
“May the road rise up to meet ya. There’s
one… May the wind be always at yer back…
And here’s me favorite: May you be in heaven
ten minutes before the devil knows yer dead!”
With that, Francis vanished in a puff of smoke.”
He was such a happy, unpredictable soul.
Passing away on Valentine’s Day
was so befitting the one time U.S. Marine,
aerospace physicist who dabbled in programs
ranging from the Atlas ICBM propulsion
system, analysing military ground support systems,
to kibitzing beach city politicians who for years
tolerated his magnificent blarney.
Right now, I’ll wager he’s gettin’ ready
to celebrate St. Patrick’s day,
dancing a jig in some cloud in the sky
far above the maple tree. That
performance, spiced with a touch
of pure O’Learyism will generate
enough razzmatazz to cause old
St. Peter to open wide his gates.
And leave the many friends he left
behind with heartfelt memories.
Toodleoo, old pal.
In Irish, that means good-bye.
— Boots LeBaron —
Love from Boots, JoAnne, and family.
What a wonderful tribute to my wonderful uncle! Mr. LeBaron has certainly captured Uncle Frank’s true spirit!
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Truly Boots Lebaron has kissed the Blarney stone to tell such a wonderful tail about such a wonderful man. Rest in peace leprechaun Francis.
Love your son Kevin
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